How To Shepherd Your Congregation Remotely

By Jeff Reed

woman talking on the phone

Chances are that as a pastor or ministry leader, the two most common types of people that you’re engaging with are those interested in Jesus for the first time or those that are looking to grow in their faith. 

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You’ll get questions such as: What’s your mission statement? What’s discipleship? Why should I consider Jesus? How do I get closer to God? 

When it comes to digital evangelism, may we also not forget that the people we are trying to reach have probably done some research on you and your ministry as well. Just as we try to look for the new coffee shop or trendy restaurant in our cities, people do the same when it comes to what they’re looking for in regards to their faith. 

Our websites, social media accounts, and content all give insight as to who we are and what we believe. From the spiritually curious to the devoted believer, how can we facilitate spaces to help encourage spiritual growth?

Cultivating Relationships in a Disconnected World

In a world that is more connected than ever and yet feels more disconnected as well, how do we also cultivate meaningful relationships? It appears for many of us, we opt for convenience in terms of our communication. That’s not always a bad thing, it’s just a reality of how we live our daily lives. 

Don’t believe me? Just ask the next person you interact with if they like getting voicemails. Most likely, you will get this response: “Oh no, I don’t listen to voicemails, just text me next time.” 

In many regards, our world is becoming more about text communication than verbal, even when it comes to our jobs and hobbies; emails, Slack/Teams, social media, Discord, etc. 

When life happens, how do we care for our communities? Sure, the coffee meetings and visits are great and will continue to be a great way for connection, but what about when time or location don’t always permit? What about another option for caring for people pastorally that’s accessible right at someone’s fingertips? Does it work? Is it actually effective? Yes and yes. 

In my four and a half years of experience in pastoring people through means of text chat (we at Churchome call it Pastor Chat), I know for a fact that I’ve had some of the most incredible and transformative conversations that wouldn’t have been possible through a traditional face-to-face interaction. 

Talking to a pastor in-person can feel intimidating, especially for someone who is exploring faith. There’s a level of transparency that can be missed through factors like our body language and tone in a conversation. People have different communication styles and preferences and so if we can offer multiple ways for our communities to receive pastoral support, why not offer it? 

Pastoring Via Text: A Primer

How can we pastor people effectively via text? It first starts with the culture of your church or ministry. In every way that you communicate, that culture should be so evident and not feel like a front. Whether it is just yourself or a team of people, everyone should be in alignment in what we’re saying and how we’re saying it. The content is important, yes, but text is something that is easily read with assumption of tone. 

The next thing that is just as important is a thing called active listening. Someone that is looking for support doesn’t want to feel judged or seem like they’re talking with a know-it-all. 

Have you ever had someone ask you for help with something and you just can’t wait to answer with something so you actually cut them off mid-sentence and didn’t even hear them out entirely? I’ve been guilty of that countless times. 

As leaders, we all need to listen more and listen better. Asking open-ended questions is possibly the biggest tip for success we miss in having lasting and fruitful conversations. Open-ended questions require a response that isn’t just a yes or a no. They open up more depth and help give you context on how you can best support someone.

I’ve discovered that there are two overwhelming topics that people are seeking answers to pastorally. “How do I get closer to God and how do I not be anxious anymore?” Asking open-ended questions such as “Why do you feel like you’re far from God?” or “What’s causing you to feel anxious?” are great. Sure, Philippians 4:6 can be helpful at the right time but telling someone to not be anxious when they are usually doesn’t end well. 

Hear them out, see what the root of the concern is, be curious, don’t be judgmental and provide resources when needed.

What I find fascinating is that while I and my team do our best to support those that reach out to us, what individuals are really looking for is a space to release thoughts and find a safe space where they don’t feel judged. Emotions and thoughts are not healthy to keep bottled up and open-ended questions enable the other person to release those in a healthy manner. 

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As a pastor, it is my job to support people to the best of my ability, while also reminding myself that I am not Jesus. It is less of my job to give answers and it is more of me pointing people to Who the answer is. I would be remiss if I didn’t encourage the individual that they have the same access to God as I do. I want that person I am chatting with to leave our conversation more aware of Jesus than the topic they came in with.

The next thing we can do in pastoring people via text is to equip them with tools that will sustain them when you may not be available. It’s the metaphor of giving a person a fish vs. teaching them how to fish. 

For example, if someone I have a conversation with struggles with prayer and how to do it, sure, I would love to type a prayer out for them. But I will also give them the reminder that prayer is actually very simple and equip them with practical tools in how to pray because that is something as a church, we are so passionate about. 

At Churchome, one of our biggest passions and focuses is called Guided Prayers. When we created this years ago, the idea was to create a format for prayer that is so simple and yet so profound so that no matter where someone is on their faith journey, we can all grow together in prayer. What is it that your ministry is passionate about equipping people with? Always give a next step. Something that is important to your ministry. It can be a wonderful tool for follow-up and a way to “measure” how well people are being pastored.

Putting Your Best Foot Forward

Prepare, prepare, prepare! When we make ourselves available to be a place for support, you will get more than you can imagine. Create guides or templates in place so when you and your team are asked tough questions, you are unified in your responses. 

Have some external resources on-hand when appropriate to share, such as during conversations that deal with addiction or mental health. Give next steps if someone is making a decision to follow Jesus. And most importantly, create systems that allow margin for you and your team as compassion fatigue is very real.

Consistency is everything. Be authentic and be personable. If you’re going to have a team of people that will be doing this with you, establish a quality assurance process. This creates a basis for feedback and sets a standard for how you want to be caring for people. 

For us, our quality assurance template has some very practical measurables too. Things such as:

  • Did we ask open-ended questions?
  • Did we personalize that chat using the person’s name?
  • Did we use proper spelling, grammar, and punctuation? 
  • Did we pray for the person?

This will aid you and your team in showing if you are doing good work by the standards you set. 

You Can Make a Difference

We are not meant to be the answer for every single thing that’s happening in our world but we as pastors and leaders can point people to Jesus, which is the most important thing. 

Our world is hurting and broken and we often miss those that don’t verbalize that pain. I can almost guarantee that there are people in your ministry that are going through some very real things in life but would never say them out loud.

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Instead of allowing technology to further isolate one another, what if we could leverage it and allow it to be the catalyst that builds our communities and promotes true spiritual, mental and relational well-being?

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Jeff Reed

In 2018, Jeff stepped out of a 15-year church staffing career in production, creative, and communication to start THECHURCH.DIGITAL, a non-profit designed to help churches find their purpose through digital discipleship, mobilizing people on digital mission, and planting multiplying digital churches. He lives in Miami with his wife and two kids.

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